All That Matter(ed)s
by ExplosiveNoise
Summary: A Tokio Hotel and Cinema Bizarre fanfic. (Bill and Strify).
1. Automatic Show

The crowd was big and his heart shrunk closer to the warmth of his organs and the trap in his throat. God, and the music was loud – that drumbeat. And god, he was here tonight looking straight up at him. Thank god for his love of elaborate outfits and that he was wearing one tonight that didn't show the shake of his knees.

He felt like his lungs would give out and all he'd be able to get out would just be a quiet squeak.

He would be glad for knowing German if he didn't know it too. Knew it too well.

He could see Strify's light hair automatically. His soft eyes and his set jaw. There was no one alike in appearance to the Berlin boy.

Somehow the words came easy even though he was looking into the crowd at (that) one person. Somehow.

Through his clouded body, the repetition and automaticy gave his motion, lyrics, and strength.

_Scream! 'Til you feel it. Scream!_

'_Til you believe it! Scream!_

_Out loud._

It was a rush of song and a rush of madness. Serenity though.

All he needed to do was look into those eyes and stay intertwined with the strength and friendship of his band.

**It was all he could do and all that mattered.**

It was all he could do and all that mattered.

After the show it was all a blur until he was talking to the Cinema Bizarre vocalist who liked his band and his voice in and out of Tokio Hotel.

His sparkling converses were a bit much, but Bill (tried) didn't (not to) mind.


	2. The Guide Who Wears Converses

Bill's POV

The way Strify smiled was the way he never could. The smile made him smile too, but not in the same way. Strify's smiles were always so soft, so kind, so carefree, so _set_. It was like he walked around (confidently) with his heart on his lips. Bill could never be so heartfelt. When he looked over at the other boy, all he did was admire who he was- which was all Bill had ever wanted to be. And oh no, he could never be that way. He stayed on the sidelines and watched the world unfold as an observer; Strify saw the world and painted it in words, with his voice, with his songs, with his fingertips, and somehow worked in a way that improved it. Bill was just a part of the madness raining from the sky, and down on the earth.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" He asked with the arch of his eyebrow and light amusement dancing across his lips.

"No reason..." Bill told him only in a quieted voice as they escaped from the crowd of people in the venue. "So how was the performance?" Bill asked nervously.

"Amazing, as always," Strify said, glancing at him sideways as they walked through the door with the blindingly bright exit sign.

It amazes Bill how sincere the other can be. The way his voice sounds so strong, and yet light as he's telling him how he thought of it- Bill knows he's saying what he really wants to say. In many of the ways people fail at things like this- be lying, being untruthful, not saying what they mean, not feeling it, not believing what they say- Strify exceeds those limitations and frauds humans have set down. He's real. It's a good reason for Bill to admire him. Strify sees so much good while Bill looks into the world and sees it as a dark place. Strify walks through it with a smile like only a survivor would. The world has not killed him. It has not broken him and beaten him down, or if it has he has hidden it behind such a confident smile, a good attitude, and a sad heart.

"Thank you," Bill replied, though barely before Strify grabbed his hand and was tugging him along at a running pace down the sidewalk.

"Come on," he said, his smile growing with mischief, "Let's blow the world off!" He went padding down the street with Bill being forced to follow behind. He had that goofy grin on his face that made Bill a little weary. "There's a party not too far from here. You looked down. I'd like to cheer you up."

Strify's POV

He could tell by the look in Bill's eyes tonight that something was off. He felt like Bill might be bleeding on the inside and just not tell him. Strify could see in his eyes that he wasn't okay. He didn't want to call Bill out on it though.

He couldn't tell exactly what it was or the way Bill was feeling, but he could tell there was something playing in the background of his eyes. And he wanted to cheer him up. So before he really realized what he was doing, he had grabbed Bill's hand and began dragging him towards the party he'd heard about previously that was just a few blocks away. He hoped Bill wouldn't mind- but mostly he hoped he would like it and have a little fun.

Bill's POV

Bill didn't really know what to say so he didn't say anything. He let Strify pull him along and lead the way. He didn't give it much thought and didn't protest. It was kind of nice to have someone guiding him without a thousand judgments in their eyes.

It was dark out and the streets were mostly deserted apart from the two of them. Shadows fell over buildings. Night chased away day and started taking the life of today in preparation for the new one, much like a new life- just not as big and important as new life. Stars took their places visually in the deep dark. The moon peeked out at their world, pushing the sun out for its turn to glow. And all Bill could hear was the soft hit of the boy's converses against the concrete in front of him and the beating of his own heart.


End file.
